Want to be a Muse

Want to be a Muse

What the ...?

There... the freak is back again!


I've been back at home for a week and since my plane landed in Paris I feel weird. Everybody told me that it was completely normal to feel depressed when you come back from your vacation. Yeah sure, that might be right, but as usual when I feel bad, my reaction's bad too...


So here I am, eating too much for the last two days and of course I'm feeling awfully guilty for that. First, because I don't want to waste all the good job I had done when I was in the US. Then, I don't wanna be that weak person that eats all the time when she feels that something's wrong. And finally because all of this is over right?


I promised myself to stop complaining and starting to act at last.

It is basically what I did for the las two months, in America. I've met these wonderful people, experienced so many new things, seen so many beautiful places... I was just happy! Everything was so easy, I felt so great, and I was finally starting to smile sincerely again. So I guess, people are right, it's just normal to feel bad when you come back to reality. So my boulimic reaction is kind of normal too, beacause it is what I do when I don't feel right.


But wouldn't it such a shame to behave like this, when it just experienced the opposite? I was happy, like before, just a regular 22-year-old girl, maybe a bit crazy, but just the right amount... So why should I become like this again? I guess, everything seems boring compared to my fabulous american experience. I guess, I miss these so talkative americans, completely not minding their own business, and incredibly nice. I guess, I could never stop enjoying to see all the differences between our two cultures. BUT I just have to deal with. For the moment, my life belongs to France and it's just a matter of time and patience. And if I feel bad or bored, eating is definitely not the right solution.


Afterall, France is not that boring.  There are so many things to do around Paris... and actually I have so many things to do in my flat too. It's never too late to discover new things. So what the ...?

Two miserable days eating too much is no big deal if it only lasts for two days right? I still have a whole life to live. I still have so much time to learn new things and meet new people. I still have energy to do completely crazy and random stuff!


So wouldn't it be a great tribute to all the people I met for the last two months and who helped me feeling a little bit better, to keep on living the way I did during my american journey? That would be my way of saying "Thanks a lot everybody! I didn't forget what you did for me and I never will!". =)


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