Want to be a Muse

There we are. 2012. So I guess it's time to look a bit backwards to see what was done in 2011.

So many things happened, it feels like last year was actually ten years long! I am lucky and I'm thankful. But don't get me wrong, it wasn't always easy, but that's life I guess. And if I were so spoilt by life, it would be sooooo boring. So basically, what I could tell right now is that, I feel really exhausted... and it was worth it! Because life made me even more stronger.

Yesterday I read all my 2011 posts again. I noticed that May was a pretty busy month and that I wrote a lot... and it wasn't really joyful! Actually I forgot about that, which is kind of good. I know what happened then. Life stroke me!

Coz yes, that's what I remember about 2011 : LIFE! And let me tell one thing: it was awesome, so I decided to do the same for 2012.

But what does life consist in exactly? One simple answer... crazy and random, with a pinch of flexibility. Paradoxically, making plans is a good thing but please don't be a control freak and don't except things to happen just the way you imagined them... Coz it won't happen : NEVER EVER! I'm not saying that what you want in life will never happen, it's just the way things occur that is different from what we imagined. And this leads to the hardest part : making choices! That's what we do everyday.

It could be simple : a piece of cake or an apple for desert? Simple... really?Do I want a little treat or do I want to eat something healthy for my body? Do I want to keep my curves or to become that skinny bitch back again? Do I want to let society keep on putting that pressure about image on my shoulders? What the fuck people! Who gives a damn about that? I'll take whatever I want for desert because I felt like having that and more importantly, I don't care about what people think. Told ya... simple, huh!

Anyway, I took an example about food because it's easy to understand... but the thing is that you can apply that to basically everything. For the simplest choice to the more complex one you have to take. It's not about what people think, about what society dictates you what is right to do... It's simply about what YOU think, what YOU want. Haha that reminds me of a conversation I had last summer with this incredible American girl, somewhere in a redwood forest : "You can be selfish, you can be a bitch, but don't be a selfish bitch!".

I gues it's what it is all about... being selfish, but just the right amount. Making your own choices. And whatever you choose to be or to do, there is not regrets to have, because there's always something to learn!

There, the title has just been explained! That's why I'm tired and stronger... with no regrets!

What a year! I flew to the US for two months, milked a cow, split logs, walked hours just to see the Pacific Ocean, hitch-hiked (and yes gingers have a soul... or at least, American gingers), went to the top of the Yosemite Falls for the third time, saw white sandy beaches, skinny-dipped with a shark, enjoyed sunsets, laughed so hard, smiled, cried, danced all night long, got drunk, promised not to drink ever again, fell in love at first sight, got really angry... no, not angry, mad, ate too much or too less, felt sexy, felt ugly, was stupid, have made mistakes, have learnt from my mistakes, fancied killing my cat everytime he didn't piss in his litter (at least a billion times then...), gave love, wanted revenge, have lost my grandma, felt lonely, got my heart broken, wrote, screwed up for a little while, got back on tracks, fought for the things I thought they were worth it, travelled, met wonderful people, once again didn't keep in touch, got confused, and determined, fell down, got up, was stubborn, forgot, forgave, shared, winked, laughed, laughed and laughed...

I'm pretty sure I have forgotten so many things in that list but never mind, that's part of life. So last year I started to live for real at 22... and trust me, that feels really good. Just one wish for 2012, and the other coming years.

Keep on living! That's what makes you so stong!

LIFE!